Tag Archives: Faith

Community.

It’s a buzz word these days.

Especially in those Christian circles.  You know, the ones you wish you were invited into.

Community.

We talk so much about it.  We think about it.  We pray about it.  We analyze it and program it and market it.  We small-group it.  We service-project it.  We family-night it. 

But do we actually do it?

Tomorrow morning, my friend, Hannah, is coming over.  Hannah is an amazing young woman.  Full of passion and vision and the desire to serve people who have no voice.  She is a part of the 20-somethings Bible study my husband and I lead.  Hannah does not have kids.  She is not married.  Her monthly rent payment is enviable.  And the job she’s currently working gives her Mondays off.  So she’s coming over.

But not for coffee.  And not for lunch.  And not for anything resembling a quiet, peaceful sit down where we figure out the world’s problems together.  She is coming over to help.  Kids will be awake.  Laundry will be strewn.  Dishes will be piled.  Errands will be run.  There might be yelling.  She is going to spend the morning with us, just helping.  Lending a hand in the middle of real life.  And my real life is kinda messy/ugly/impromptu.  The trade-off?  I will feed her.

“Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.”
Titus 2:3-5

I am not an old woman.  But I am older (in age and experience) than Hannah.  Scripturally, I see that I have a responsibility to those women who are younger than me.  Not to talk at them.  Not to lead once a week Bible study for them.  But to bring them alongside in life.  To include them in a functioning, real life, gritty community.  Where things don’t always go as planned.  I mean, there is a three-year-old involved here.  Enough said.

And this is a new thing for me.  I used to think community meant I cleared my schedule or found a babysitter so I could give my undivided attention to one other person and we could work through difficulties and build a “real” relationship.  But I’m learning that a real relationship is built in the midst of real life.  Real time living.  The two can’t be divided.  Nor should they be.

So now I am looking for people to “do life” with.  Life unscripted.  Life un-programmed.  Life as it happens.  As it is.  This is one hugely important aspect of doing community.  Helping one another in the day in and day out.  I am no expert on these things.  I’m just a woman trying to figure it out.  But I know I want to figure it out.  I don’t want to play pretend community anymore. 

I think Hannah and I will go grocery shopping.  Kids and all.

How do YOU do community?  Is there anyone in your life you could bring alongside?

I am so glad the Bible gives us some guidance about how to discipline our kiddos and, likewise, how God disciplines us.  I don’t know about you, but I would be completely lost otherwise.  There are many days when I find myself thinking, “I must be doing something wrong here!” when it comes to the leading and training and growing up of my children.  Sometimes that’s just discouragement getting the better of me, but sometimes there is validity.  It’s always important to take a step back in our parenting, seeking counsel and looking at our kids through the glasses of the knowledge of God, instead of allowing those boiling emotions to make decisions on our behalf.  So today I just want to share some of that knowledge.

ONE :: “Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates reproof is stupid”.
Proverbs 12:1

TWO :: “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.”
Proverbs 22:6

THREE :: “All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work.”
2 Timothy 3:16-17

FOUR :: “Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.”
Proverbs 13:24

FIVE :: “Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him.”
Proverbs 22:15

SIX :: “Discipline your son, and he will give you rest; he will give delight to your heart.”
Proverbs 29:17

SEVEN :: “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”
Ephesians 6:4

EIGHT :: “If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons…  For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.”
Hebrews 12:8,11

NINE :: “Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline, so be zealous and repent.”
Revelation 3:19

TEN :: “He who is often reproved, yet stiffens his neck, will suddenly be broken beyond healing.”
Proverbs 29:1

and a bonus…

ELEVEN :: “…God’s kindness leads you toward repentance…”
Romans 2:4

(photo credit)

I tell my kids to wait

all

the

time.

Seriously.  Children want what they want, when they want it.  Wait??  What’s that??  Why should I?  Why can’t I have it now?

Well, because if I give you a chocolate milk now, you won’t be able to fall asleep at bedtime in a half hour and you’ll (I’ll) be crankier in the morning.

Well, because if I fix your toy right now, I have to stop feeding your sister.  And even though you’ve got a laser beam focus on that toy, she has needs that need met, too.

Well, because if I let you go downstairs right now, you will probably put an entire roll of toilet paper in the toilet, or rub hand soap all over your body, or try to climb the bookshelf to get the remote, or scrape candle wax into your underwear… because I’m upstairs making dinner.

Do you ever feel this way?  “Wait.  WAIT.  WAIT!!“  But how can a three-year-old understand the effect of sugar on his little pre-bedtime body?  Even if I tried to explain, which believe me, I have, he talks right over me, continuing to demand that he has what he wants RIGHT NOW.

“Child, just wait.  I’m not saying no.  I would love to help you.  I would love to give you what you’re asking for.  But you can’t have it RIGHT NOW.  You wouldn’t understand why, and that’s ok.  Just trust me.  I can give soon.  Please just wait.”

Frustrating, right?

Is God saying the same thing to you in this moment?