An Alternative to Resolutions and January’s Word of the Month

Posted on December 31, 2011 | 2 Comments

I’m not one for much reality TV, but there are a few gems out there that I think shed light on important issues and bring real life change for the people involved.  The Biggest Loser is one of those gems for me.  It’s one of my favorite shows on TV.  I had never stopped to really think about obesity.  I just assumed (I am ashamed to admit) that overweight people were overweight simply because they liked eating and didn’t want to stop.  After watching a few seasons of the show, I realized that obesity is often brought on by much deeper life battles, like the loss of a loved one, the struggle to feel valued, a serious injury, or poor eating habits introduced in childhood.  There is almost always an underlying dilemma that each of the show’s participants must learn to face before they will find success in keeping the weight off.

In trying to see resolutions through to completion in past years, I have often found myself discouraged, defeated and disappointed in myself.  I try to accomplish the goal that’s in front of me, but it’s like there’s this huge pile of bricks tied on behind me that I’m having to drag the whole way.  The weight of it all is too much.  I give up.  There’s always next year.

But the problem with next year is that the pile of bricks is still there.

The thing that has us giving up by the first of February is the very thing we have to turn around and deal with.  It’s not just pushing forward to the goal that gets us to the goal.  Almost always, there is an underlying dilemma that we must learn to face before finding success in the goal.

If I were to make a list of New Year’s Resolutions for 2012, it would look something like this:
1.  Get up earlier
2. Be more consistent with study time in the Word
3. Maintain a clean kitchen as often as possible
4. De-clutter
5. De-clutter
6. De-clutter

This is a GREAT list of resolutions.  In fact, I imagine yours might look similar.  But when I zoom in a little, take a closer look, I see an underlying dilemma.  My problem is not that I sleep too late or don’t like reading the Bible or have broken arms which disable me from moving the dishes from the counter to the dishwasher.  My problem, my underlying dilemma, is that I lack self-discipline.

I lack self-discipline.

That’s my pile of bricks.  And until I turn around and deal with that, I will never see the positive resolutions fulfilled.

So this year I am doing something a little different.  No resolutions.  No lists.  No ideal of the better person I will be by 2013.  Instead, there will be one word.

One word will guide me through the year.  One word will be like a flag in the front yard of my life.  One word will be my motivation, my determination, my resolution.  I will choose just one word to focus on in 2012, and let the goals fall as they will from there.

My word for 2012, and also our family’s Word of the Month for January, is…

……..drum roll please………….

SELF-CONTROL.

You guessed it!  This is the fruit that the Spirit has been working into my heart little by little over the past 6 years.  I know this is a work that the Lord wants to fulfill in my life.  My prayer this New Year’s Eve is that 2012 will be a year of great break-through in this area.  I will continue to pray over this word, this fruit, this transformation, and will let the word rest as an umbrella over my life this year.  I want to let God do His work here.

Maybe it’s one of those years for you, too, when the list of resolutions needs to go in the trash and you need to turn around and face that pile of bricks.  What is the underlying dilemma that’s buried there? 

Because truly, the resolve is in getting up every day and taking one step to lift one brick off the pile that’s keeping you from your goals.  The resolve is in choosing one step in the Spirit, instead of in the flesh, so that the Spirit can bring about the heart change that leads to better life.  Fuller life.  FULLEST LIFE!

Will you pick one word for 2012?  Will you tackle the pile of bricks?  And your word is…

drum roll please………………………………

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It’s Four Days Till Christmas… Let’s Slow Down

Posted on December 21, 2011 | Leave a comment

I didn’t send out a family Christmas card this year.  It’s sort of a shame, because it was going to be awesome.  Our family Christmas card was going to blow all the other family Christmas cards right out of the water.  It was going to be all photo-shopped and funny and magical.  And people would laugh.  And put it in the very center of the fridge display.  And probably just take all the other ones down because they wouldn’t be able to compete.

Of course, I’m joking… sort of.  The Christmas card had to go this year because something had to give for us.  It’s difficult for me to let things go, because I used to take a lot of pride in the fact that I was the girl who could do everything.  But not anymore.  The Lord has worked.  He was worked some yucky stuff out of me, all for His good.  So this Christmas, I’m not going to do everything.  I’m going to let some things go.  So no Christmas card.

Instead of running around like a crazy person these last few days before the Holiday, I want to encourage you to slow.  At the heart of Christmas is not the parties or the food or the stockings or gifts or decorations or even friends and family.  At the heart of Christmas is a celebration.  A celebration of Christ.  His advent.  The arrival of the Great Answer to our ever-unsolvable problem.  Praise God, Christ has come.

Let’s lift our eyes up out of the holiday muck; up to a God smiling down.  We are preparing to celebrate God’s soaring declaration of Love over us.  I want to see the babe.  I want to see the gift.  I want to see the Love Come Down.  Do you?

Go ahead, let something go.  That card you’re trying to finish.  That garland you’re trying to perfect.  That performance you’re forcing everyone out the door to see……..

let it go.

Let it go.  And look up.  And remember.  And celebrate.

Him.

It’s not about me.  It’s not about being the one with the best card.  The one with the prettiest house.  The one with the most fragrant supper table.  It’s about Him.  The One who gave us the gift of Himself.

And He gave great.  It is always about Him.

Always.

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Celebrating the Season of Advent… wait, What IS Advent??

Posted on November 30, 2011 | 2 Comments

December 1st.  Going up on the side of the oak cupboard at the edge of the kitchen is a calendar.  A small, stuffed Santa peers over the edge of the pocket in the top left corner.  He waits for little fingers to move him along, finding treats and family events on the 24 day journey.  I remember the calendar.  I remember driving through neighborhoods, wide-eyed at Christmas lights.  I remember decorating the tree, gardening gloves adorning the luckiest hands.  I remember a zoo soaked in color and light, and a fireplace topped with milk and cookies for a middle-of-the-night guest.

The traditions my parents worked so hard to establish for our family when I was growing up are now treasures buried deep in my heart.  And this year, I want to begin building these traditions for my own young family.  But as I thought about creating an advent calendar, I was struck with the realization that I don’t even know what advent is!  I remember the calendar.  I don’t remember the advent calendar. 

I wasn’t about to hang up a calendar that I didn’t even know the meaning of.  (There’s enough of those traditions floating around during the holiday season, aren’t there?)  So I looked it up.

1. a coming into place, view, or being; arrival: the advent of the holiday season.
2. ( usually initial capital letter ) the coming of Christ into the world.
3. ( initial capital letter ) the period beginning four Sundays before Christmas, observed in commemoration of the coming of Christ into the world.
4. ( usually initial capital letter ) Second Coming.
 
An advent is an arrival. 
 
Advent, for the Christian, is a celebration of three things:
1 – The past birth of Christ.  The arrival of God in the form of man into the world.
2 – The future Second Coming of Christ.  The arrival of Christ to redeem His own and give the final gift of eternal salvation to all who believe.
3 – The anticipation we live in now, in between these two arrivals, and the call on our lives to live in readiness, walk in humility and kindness, and respond to God with our obedience, as a result of a repentant and thankful heart for the gift of Christ.
 
So simple.  So beautiful.  And what an amazing way to teach a young family about what we are celebrating during the Christmas season.  I am so excited to celebrate this Advent season and acknowledge the anticipation of the world that led up to the birth of Christ, and the anticipation of my own heart as I wait for my eternal salvation.
 
Advent can be celebrated in many ways.  It is the heart humbled before God, in waiting, that is important.  Two of the more common Protestant ways of celebrating this season are with a Jesse Tree and with an Advent Calendar.  This year, we’re going with the calendar. 
 
There are so many ways to do an advent calendar.  I will just share with you how we will celebrate this year.  Again, it’s the heart of humility and remembrance and anticipation that is important, whatever your celebration looks like.
 
We will use The Jesus Storybook Bible as our guide, reading one story each day, from Creation all the way to the birth of Christ (on Christmas morning).  I absolutely LOVE this Bible!  It’s a children’s Bible, but I’d be lying if I said it’s never had me in tears before!  This Bible is appropriate for advent readings because included in every Bible story narrative is the way in which the story points to the coming of Christ.  Every Old Testament event leads to the gift of the Savior and God’s “Never Stopping, Never Giving Up, Unbreaking, Always and Forever Love” that caused Him to send for us, His children, a “Rescuer.”
 
 
 
At the beginning of each day we will read the story from this special Bible, and then draw the little gold card out of the pocket on our advent calendar.  Each day is a different activity.  Our activities are not necessarily synched with the reading; they are all fun things to do as a family that excitedly lead up to Christmas day and our celebration of Christ come into the world.  Many of our activities are based around events happening in our own lives and community, so yours will be different, of course.  But this list might help give you a jumping off point if you are celebrating with an advent calendar this season.  Here’s what we’re doing:
 
1 – Give a gift (to a family in need, our church pantry, or local rescue mission)
2 – A special candy for Maddox
3 – Go to my husband’s work Christmas party (a family affair)
4 – Go to the tree farm and pick out our (FIRST EVER!) live Christmas tree
5 – Decorate the tree
6 – Make gingerbread houses
7 – Pick out new tree ornaments (each family member picks one new ornament for 2011)
8 – Give a gift (to a family in need, our church pantry, or local rescue mission)
9 – Go to a live nativity
10 – Go to the local Ranch for an evening of Christmas fun
11 – Electric Safari at the zoo
12 – A special candy for Maddox
13 – Make gingerbread men cookies
14 – Toddler Time at the library
15 – Give a gift (to a family in need, our church pantry, or local rescue mission)
16 – Getaway to the mountains
17 – See a local church Christmas production
18 – Watch a Christmas movie
19 – Deliver gifts to our friends and neighbors
20 – Free family day at the Fine Arts Center
21 – Give a gift (to a family in need, our church pantry, or local rescue mission)
22 – Hot cocoa for dessert
23 – Drive the city to tour Christmas lights
24 – Attend Christmas Eve service with visiting family
 
 
The 25th is not included on the calendar, but we will have our final reading that morning; the birth of Christ, and then celebrate that which we have been anticipating.
 
If you’re thinking of starting your own advent calendar, it’s not too late!  Start the celebration wherever you are, however you can.  It’s always the heart that matters. 
 
 
How do you celebrate Advent?  What are some traditions that you enjoy burying in the hearts of your loved ones during this special season?

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Ten on Tuesday :: FORGIVENESS

Posted on November 29, 2011 | Leave a comment

Well, the Thanksgiving holiday kind of landed me flat on my back.  It was amazing, as always, but the whole family (except the hubs) was knocked out with head colds.  Add a 14 hour roadtrip to Phoenix with two young kiddos, and all the preparation required, and this is why you haven’t seen a Ten on Tuesday in two weeks.  Aah!  Glad to be back today.  :-)   And I hope your T-Day was incredible and blessed and filled with love. 

Now what better word to focus on in the middle of the Holiday season than Forgiveness?  I love it.

ONE  ::  “For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”
Matthew 6:14-15

TWO :: “Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.”
Luke 17:3-4

THREE :: “Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.”
Colossians 3:12-13

FOUR :: “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
1 John 1:9

FIVE :: “I will cleanse them from all the guilt of their sin against me, and I will forgive all the guilt of their sin and rebellion against me.”
Jeremiah 33:8

SIX :: “And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.”
Mark 11:25

SEVEN :: “And Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” And they cast lots to divide his garments.”
Luke 23:34

EIGHT :: “”This is the covenant that I will make with them after those days, declares the Lord: I will put my laws on their hearts, and write them on their minds,” then he adds, “I will remember their sins and their lawless deeds no more.” Where there is forgiveness of these, there is no longer any offering for sin.”
Hebrews 10:6-8

NINE :: “Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven–for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little loves little.”
Luke 7:47

TEN :: “And you, who were dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made alive together with him, having forgiven us all our trespasses, by canceling the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands. This he set aside, nailing it to the cross.”
Colossians 2:13-14

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Everyone Sucks at Parenting

Posted on November 12, 2011 | 2 Comments

I suck at parenting.  And you know what?  So do you.

Everyone sucks at parenting.  You know why?  Because not-sucking at parenting requires putting someone else’s needs before your own.  And we’re all pretty bad at that. 

My husband recently said to me, jokingly, “I’m pretty good at making kids.  Not so much at raising them.”  I had a good laugh, because really, I could say the same thing.  We all could.  Having even minimal success in raising our kids requires putting them first.  And no one, not one person, is good at that.

If you’re feeling like being a parent is too hard, remember – it is.

If you’re feeling like you are utterly insufficient for the job, remember - you are.

If you’re feeling like every day is a war in the middle of your living room and all you want to do is find a giant rock to hide under, remember – every.single.parent.who.EVER.existed. has felt the same way.

But there is no rock to hide under.  Instead, thankfully, there is a Rock to lean on.

In and of ourselves we are completely insufficient.  That is why Jesus came and lived the life He lived and died the death He died.  For me and you - in the middle of our wreck.  In the middle of our failure.  In the middle of everything that is too hard to carry and too far to reach and too big to get ahold of.  Jesus came to set us free from the burden of trying to be good.

“There is no one righteous, not even one”
Romans 3:10

It is not by trying to not suck at parenting that we will stop sucking at parenting.  It is in turning to Christ, and taking a step, one step at a time, in His Holy Spirit, that we will be transformed into human beings who choose to exalt the needs of our children before the wants of ourselves.

This is the grace of God.  So that I can’t boast about what an awesome mom I am.  None of us can.  We can only boast about what an awesome God we serve.

“But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”
2 Corinthians 12:9

We are wise parents to accept our insufficiencies, even to rejoice in them, exuberantly waving the white flag and walking open-heart onto the battlefield.  Because we are covered by grace.

Grace given by the only One who doesn’t suck at parenting. 

The only perfect Parent.

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